Chance to grow

Today I read about my friend remembering her father through the things he left behind(may God bless his soul) and it dawned on me how meaningless life seems sometimes. I cannot think of one thing that I have done in my life,that the world will remember me by. Have I impacted anyone's life, have I influenced anyone,have I given credit to someone who influenced me? have I done all that I have wanted to do and the list goes on.

My friend's blog hurled me to the past.

I have gone from being the ambitious girl,books in hands and career in mind to a home maker with a husband and child.The rapid transition fades in memory now.This wasnt how I had imagined it.I had planned to save enough memoirs of life for me to see myself growing.Feels like as I progress in life the preceding step seems to vanish.
Was the past a better place to be in?
The present does not feel good or bad. Its just there to make the future a better place.
Its a funny race.The past influences the future.How do you feel the present without cheering about the past or anticipating the future. Is there no identity of the present?
Thats not right.I am too optimistic to beleive that.
I am the present.
I am the strong present that the fading memory is making me so I embrace the future with open arms.
I am the content present that has the sturdiness to endure the future.
I am the high-spirited present that will make enough memories to fill the past.
I am me.I have always been and I always will be.
I will give myself the chance to grow.
I want to leave all who read with this beautiful quote to ponder upon

When my mind is still and alone with the beating of my heart,
I know how much life has given me:
The history of the race, friends and family,
The opportunity to work, the chance to build myself.
Then wells within me the urge to live more abundantly,
With greater trust and joy,
With more profound seriousness and earnest service,
And yet more calmly at the heart of life.

Anonymous